Last Paddle of the Year Ends in a Bailout

Tall Tom, Rob, Suzanne and I decided to squeeze in one last kayak outing this year. Actually, Frank was supposed to have been a part of it too, which is an important point even though he wound up not going. Tom had originally suggested a one-way trip to the George Washington Grist Mill, and then I suggested a round-trip out of Pohick instead. Suzanne and Frank weren't all that happy about the idea of having to drive that far and so as a last-minute alternative I suggested an Anacostia trip out of Gravelly Point. My suggested route starts and ends with a one mile crossing of the Potomac and so is a little more open water than I like to do in the winter, but (a) we were running out of time for planning, and (b) the forecast looked pretty benign - air and water temps in the 40's, and 10 MPH winds. That's barely enough to ruffle my hair. All 1/16 of an inch of it.

On the water just before turning around

The four of us launched a little after 10 AM and found the Potomac already rocking and rolling beyond what had been forecast. Still, the waves were only maybe a foot, a foot and a half, it was supposed to calm down as the day went on so we continued. Once across and into the smaller, more sheltered Anacostia River, things settled down and we were fine. In fact, we were getting a nice push from the wind, something we needed to keep in mind in terms of the effort it was going to take to get back.

At the Anacostia Rowing Club

Poor Suzanne! First of all, we took her on a tour of the ugly section of the Anacostia and turned around right before the pretty part. Second, she was having trouble keeping her hands warm the whole time. I've had that problem for the past couple of winters myself, and it's both painful and scary. When your hands are cold you don't really feel you have full control of the paddle. The paddle is, as the name suggests, an integral part of paddling and trying to kayak with numb hands feels a little like driving with your eyes closed. Rob and I were trying out these Greenland style over-gauntlets. These are arm-length waterproof mittens. Tom has sworn by them for years (we jokingly refer to them as "opera gloves" because of their length) and this year Rob and I each bought a pair. I have to say, that they really help. Though it also helped to have a fresh, dry pair of gloves (worn underneath the gauntlets) to change into mid-way through the trip.

Helping Suzanne while she adjusts her gloves

I also learned that it's better to have a syndrome with a name than just symptoms. As I mentioned, I've been suffering with cold hand problems for several years. The response from my fellow paddlers has been, generally, "get better gloves and harden the f*ck up." Suzanne, on the other hand doesn't have cold hands. She describes herself as having Reynaud's Syndrome, which sounds much more medical and therefore gets her lots of sympathy. 

Our planned turnaround point was the ramp at Anacostia Park; however when we got there we found it clogged with debris. For the record, we were wearing dry suits and could have walked through that debris with no issues; however, Tom's sensibilities were offended by the condition of the ramp and so he insisted that we take our break instead over on the other side of the river at the Anacostia Rowing Club. The docks there were pristine and lovely, except for being heaped end to end with giant piles of goose crap. Yes, rolling out of our boats onto docks covered in shit was deemed by the group to be less disgusting than walking out through some empty bottles. Go figure.

Walk through this, or smear ourselves with bird poop?

The rowing club had some Porta-Potties, which was nice. I used one for its intended purpose, and also used the opportunity of being out of the wind to get a snack out of my PFD and unwrap it. I had brought along one of the brownie flavored Clif Bars that Ted left behind when he moved out. I probably was a little bit of a sight, exiting the Porta-Pot chewing on a big, brown bar.

Well, contrary to the forecast the wind kept building. It was a slog getting back. We were making only about 1.5 MPH according to Tom's GPS. As we approached Buzzard Point we could begin to feel the effects of the larger water and could see the whitecaps on the Potomac. When I later checked the wind data it said that it this point it was blowing 25 MPH with gusts to 35.  We only had another 1.5 miles or so to go, but it was all going to be open water with beaming or quartering waves, which are everyone's least favorite conditions. In warm weather that would have made for an unpleasant but doable crossing. But it was cold. Suzanne's hands were freezing up again. I was fighting a cold I had picked up in New Orleans and so was a little under the weather. I'm betting that by themselves, Tom and Rob would have gone for it, but as a group we decided to bail.

Hauling out at James Creek Marina

We paddled into James Creek Marina, which we found to be deserted. We hoisted ourselves and our boats onto the high docks and carried everything out into the parking lot. Then Tom and Rob (whose cars were both set up to carry two kayaks) called an Uber and rode - still in their dry suits - across the river to get their cars. Suzanne and I waited with the kayaks. It was pretty darn cold and windy out at this point. Fortunately we both had Thermoses of warm drinks. The place we were waiting was a public park of some sort and it had bathrooms. Unfortunately, they were locked; however, miraculously, Suzanne walked up to the ladies room, entered a guess at the code and got it right on the first try. She said it's a pretty common code at marina bathrooms - and apparently she hangs around the docks enough to know the ins and outs. 

Ma in her kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled in thanks to a security gap

Just as a mathematical aside, if you assume that the combo is three individual button pushes out of five buttons, there's a one in sixty chance of getting it right on the first try (Simplex mechanical locks can't repeat numbers in the combination); however, the lock can use longer combinations, including multiple buttons pushed at the same time. This article claims that the five button Simplex lock has 1,082 possible combinations. That's not super high security, but a one in 1,082 chance of getting the combo right is reasonably impressive. Anyway, having access to the heated bathroom was a godsend while we waited for Tom and Rob. 

In short order they returned with their cars. We loaded all four boats onto the two cars and ferried them back across the river to Gravelly Point, where Suzanne and I moved our boats to our own cars, and we all wished each other a Happy New Year and a coming year full of lots of good adventures. How cold were we at this point? Tom and Rob drove home still bundled in their dry suits. I got out of mine because I knew I wanted to stop for food on the way home, but I made full use of the luxo features of my car - heated seats, heated steering wheel - to warm me up on the drive.

The year had a memorable finale!