Death by Exercise

Today I really decided to punish myself with exercise and as a result right now I feel like I'm going to drop.

First of all, I have started using the Concept2 online logbook. This tool allows you to log and track your Concept2 erg (rowing machine, for the uninitiated) workouts online. Pretty cool. But wait - it's also got a ranking feature, which allows you to see how you compare with other rowers. Now, I am not naturally competitive at sports. I've never played team sports, and despite my friends Cyndi and Brian's best attempts to entice me, I've never had any interest in kayak racing. But one click ranking without direct competition, hmmm ... that I could see. So first thing this morning I did a balls to the wall 6000 meter row (actually I kept going beyond that because I like to row for at least 30 minutes, but I only ranked the 6KM piece). I can't say I was very happy with my results - not even in the top half for my age/weight group, but I feel good that I was able to post a not-outta-the-running time. OK, so that was a workout. Then I went about my day, which was unusually busy.

At the end of the day I happened to have a little open time, so I took the opportunity to try something that's intrigued me for a long time - Bikram Yoga. Bikram, commonly known as "Hot Yoga", is practiced in a very hot room. That's all I knew about it.

Well, let me say, it's an experience. First of all, the studio in Falls Church is upstairs in a rundown strip mall. I haven't seen been in a building this schlocky since my grandmother, who lived in a pre-WWII building in Boro Park, died. Y'know, the kind of place that's been painted so many times that the corners are no longer sharp, and let still simultaneously looks like it hasn't been painted in years. Once you get inside, the studio itself is OK, though. No worries.

So I go in and sign up for a single class. You do Bikram wearing as little clothing as possible because of the heat, so I went and changed into a bathing suit. I entered the studio room and was immediately hit by the heat (about 110 degrees) and the smell (the remnants of thousands of people schvitzing in extreme heat). Hoo boy, I wasn't sure I was going to last until the beginning of class, let alone the end. The class included about a dozen students of varying levels of abilities, all dressed more for the beach than for any typical exercise class.

The style of the class was as much of a shock as the temperature. Most yoga classes are slow and relaxed. Bikram is the exact opposite - highly structured, very fast paced, and apparently IDENTICAL every time. The same 26 asana done in the same order, even with the same instructions. Imagine a yoga class taught by Marine drill sergeant in the middle of a desert in the summer, and you've about got it. Maybe this is how the Roman legions kept in shape while the besieged Masada. I mean, the instructor was supportive and I never felt pressured to do more than I could, but relaxation this was not! I did feel a little woozy at one point but pushed on.

At the end of class I staggered out into an unusually warm December night, wishing it was about 30 degrees cooler out - which is very unlike me (I'm always cold). I downed one complete water bottle during class, a second right after class, then had to stop off and get a soda to survive the 5 minute trip home. The teacher told me (with enthusiasm) that tomorrow I'd feel aches and pains in parts of my body I didn't even know I had. He then encouraged me to come back tomorrow, since it's good to keep going while you're still in a world of hot yoga hurt. Fortunately for my soon to be aching body, I have an all day meeting tomorrow followed by a reception (I'll be punishing my body with canapes) and so there will be no Bikram for me for a while.